New Perspective

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with my friend, Gina, who told me her doctor's comment on her health at her 60 year checkup.  "You are in great shape.  You will live to be 100!"  
Interestingly, my friend shared this story with me not once, but three times within a two week period.  Clearly, this had left an indelible impression on her.  After the third time, I took a shot at guessing what her initial response had been.  "Let me guess...on the outside, you said 'Wow, that's great', and on the inside you said 'Oh, sh--!'"  
She burst into laughter, clearly acknowledging that the idea of another 40 years might feel more like a burden than a blessing.  
I continued ..."I know - you were thinking 'Oh, no!  How am I going to afford that?  I am going to have to save a bunch more money to make it to 100!  I am not sure I want the responsibility of planning on that much time on Earth!'" Again, she laughed in acknowledgement that I was spot on.  
It really didn't take a great deal of insight to know what she was thinking, because the moment she told me - the first time - I thought the same thing.  "Seriously?  Wow, what a bummer.  What if I found out I was going to live forty years beyond my 60th (which comes up on July 22 of this year).  What kind of life will it be?   Can I afford it?  What kind of physical and mental state will I be in if I live that long?  Do I WANT to be around that long?"
My friend's "good" news caused me to do some deep reflecting. In honesty, I had been in at least a six year holding pattern in life.  I didn't see much to get excited about in the future.  The aging process had started. Hormones had changed. Children had launched. It seemed like the biggest concern in my life was how we were going to have enough money to live out the rest of our days.  I already knew that Jim would most likely live into his late 90's, but I seriously hoped I wouldn't be around that long. With my friend's new "reality", my own reality was challenged.  A paradigm shift occurred.
I thought, "Wow!  What if I have forty more years? That is a lot of time!  Maybe I should think about what I could do with that time instead of just waiting for the end."  I began to think about the person I had hoped to become and whether I might still have time to close the gap. What if I could actually become who I thought I was?  What needed to change?  What if I found out my imagined Ideal Self turned out to be not what I really wanted?  But, I would never know that unless I actually "tried it on", so to speak.
These new thoughts led me to consider a wide variety of possibilities - something completely new for me.  It was like having a beautiful new empty room and the ability to possibly put exactly the right furnishings in place - to express outwardly who I was on the inside.  I got excited!
One of the gifts that I believe I have, that had gone into hiding, was writing.  Because of my cancer 18 months ago, I had actually started to write again.  I wrote a blog, Being Fully Present, but didn't tell anyone about it - didn't really share the link.  But, as I had looked back at that blog over the last few months, I was glad I had written all those reflections.
So, when I realized earlier this week that today marked exactly 100 days before my 60th, I decide to start preparing for my next four decades.  I decided to begin exploring all kinds of subjects - health, beauty, money, dreams, beliefs, disillusionments, change, family, friendships and more - and see what I thought, and what others might have to say.  My last blog was a very private journal for myself (and maybe others) this blog is just wide open.  I want dialog, I want comments, I want to have fun!
So, this is DAY 1 of 100.  This is the start. Hopefully, I will write every day.  Can't guarantee that, but I am going to try.  Or, I might three times in one day, who knows?  I will be adding things to the blog - pictures, links - I will probably change the wallpaper a couple of times, and the layout. It will be a work in progress.  It is the packing and planning before the vacation. I have 100 days to prepare for the next 40 years - let the journey begin!