Living a Virtual Life

My first blog was entitled "Being Fully Present".  It wasn't supposed to be a cancer blog, it just ended up that way because I started blogging about the same time I was diagnosed.

But being fully present is a life theme for me.  My basic wiring is such that I stay in my head, in the world of thoughts, much more easily than I stay in the here and now.  It is work for me to stay fully engaged in the present.  That is one reason why the Collier's job is so good for me.  It makes me stay in the moment in a very tactile world.

When I wrote my book, one of the main themes was that we were designed to be relational beings in intimate relationship with a relational God - not a concept or impersonal spirit, but a God who, in his very essence, is incapable of superficial relating.  I noted that there was really a continuum between the infinitely personal God and the digital world of 1's and 0's.  When it comes to computers and all our electronic devices, they all run on programs that are various combinations of "ON" and "OFF".  The main point I was making is that our culture is becoming increasingly depersonalized, which moves us away from intimacy.  (As you can see by this one paragraph, when I go into my head, I do it in a big way!)

Anyway, this is what it comes down to - I have to pay attention to my relationships, for that is where real life exists.  And what I am struggling with right now is that, for all its pluses, all our forms of social media are moving us away from intimacy, not toward it.  Yesterday was a pivotal example.

First of all, when I got up yesterday morning, I was already very sensitive to how much time I had wasted on Facebook, playing Bejeweled, learning about stocks, checking my email, looking at the hourly weather...you get the idea.  It bugged me so much that I took Bejeweled and my mobile Facebook app off my phone before I went to pick up my parents.  I was going to be spending the day with my parents in a stressful situation and I needed to just be with them - not distracted.

Despite the fact that I had removed two major distractions, I found myself digging into my purse for my phone on a regular basis.  I would check the weather, see what was happening with my pet stocks, see if I had any new emails.  Not one of these things was necessary for the entire day.  All of them could have waited until last night and could have been handled within a few minutes.  Instead, I almost reflexively pull out that device.  Honestly, I have started thinking constantly of one verse in Isaiah.  It is a passage about idols, but I feel like it is painfully applicable here:

He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say "Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?"  Isaiah 44:20

I am beginning to pick up that smart phone and wonder if I am holding a lie.  This is not solely a communication device, it is a virtual device.  It is a virtual life device.  When my face turns toward that little digital face, I step out of the here and now.  That was what originally annoyed all of us about cell phones - the minute we saw one, we knew that person was not really with us - they were connecting somewhere away from the present moment.

What am I to do with such knowledge?  Stop using a cell phone? No.  BUT, I do need to give some serious consideration to how much I am connected to my virtual world.  Facebook connects us to loved ones, but is full of noise.  It is an advertisement vehicle.  Maybe the original goal of the creators was to get people connected, but now the goal is to keep people on there as long as possible so they can see the most ads, and make money for themselves and their ad clients.  Am I losing my life to trivia?  Am I training my mind to want a "fix" every few minutes?  What on earth is this going to be like for our children and grandchildren who have no idea what a day without a computer is like?

We are on the threshold of virtual living - an entire generation that has no idea what it means to be silent or bored - I mean the good kind of bored that leads to creativity, friendships and conversations.

I am concerned.  And, I have to seriously consider how much of my next forty years I want to spend in virtual living.  If I don't make some different choices, I am afraid I will fail to be fully present in the days and years to come.