Five Observations from a Disorienting Week

I've been at the hospital four times this week.  One admission for observations, one ER follow-up appointment, one stress test - all of these were for me.  Today, I was at the hospital to help my parents with some outpatient surgery.  My dad had a melanoma on his face that was treated, but needed a lot of plastic surgery to make it right.  My folks are in their late 80's and in very good health for their age. Despite that, this surgery was scary.  It was a very large area, a very deep wound and they were both pretty anxious about it.

As I have spent the week in waiting rooms, pre-op rooms and various other parts of the hospital, I have experienced lots of things that have cause me to reflect on life, aging and choices.

These are five things I gleaned from this week:

1. It is okay to go to the hospital if you think something is wrong.  Even though I have had several moments of questioning my decision to go into the ER last Saturday, I have been validated by many folks that it was the right thing to do.  While I was in the waiting room before my stress test, I heard several women talking about how they, or someone close to them, had experienced a heart attack or stroke with very subtle and unusual symptoms.  One woman said the only symptom her mother had of a heart attack was painful teeth!  Another said that she had had hiccups!  Those may be kind of out there, but, as many doctors told me, "go with your gut."  
2. People live longer than they think they will.  When I was in for my stress test, one of the techs mentioned that lots of the people who come in there will say "If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."  Tonight, when I was with my dad at home, he told a story of a friend of his who had died at 88.  "I remember Bob telling me when we were both about 68 'I don't think I have many more years left in me.' As it turned out, he lived another 20 years.  He was way off."  People are short-sighted.  They don't really seriously consider the days of their lives.
3. Obesity is an epidemic, and it is a very painful way to go. Every one of the 6 women in the stress test waiting room with me was clinically obese.  The stories they told of arthritis, breathing problems, joint pain, heart problems and more, were heartbreaking.  I had just watched a video of a man who was terribly obese, but did something about it and I thought about what a different quality of life these women would have had if they were closer to their ideal weight. (Here is the link to that amazing transformation story)
4. Despite all the vivid examples of people who had been making consistently bad choices for a long time, it is still not enough to keep me from making my own poor choices.  This is probably stating the obvious, but even when we have tons of facts and information that tells us to exercise regularly, eat good foods, stay away from junk foods, etc.  Despite all the warnings, that is not enough to make me "do the right thing".  All week long, I have found myself making lousy choices in the way I spend my time, the way I eat, the amount of exercise I get and more.  I cannot get on the case of an obese person for not losing the weight when I lack self-control in so many areas of my own life.  
5. Patience and Grace are needed in the hard places in life - especially toward ourselves.  I suppose we always need Patience and Grace, but I think it is harder to come by when there is a lot of stress, or sickness or other life challenges.  I really didn't have a problem today as I tried to make things a little easier for my mom and dad through Dad's surgery.  They were both pretty anxious about this whole thing and there were lots of little things that required special amounts of patience and grace. Caring for them today was not hard.  But, as I have watched myself  make one mistake after another this week in various areas, I have had little patience or grace for me.  One of the readings in Jesus Calling this week said "Don't be so hard on yourself.  God can bring good even out of your mistakes."  I still don't have the balance between personal accountability and accepting human frailties, but I do think I need to allow God's grace to impact my own life in larger and larger ways.

This has been a challenging week, and has had it's setback - at least according to my agenda.  Last Saturday's trip to the ER was disorienting and I haven't gotten my equilibrium back completely, but I hope I take to heart these five observations I have made - especially in the area of Grace!