...a little bit of heaven.
FINDING JOY IN THE TRANSITION PLACES OF LIFE
I have talked a lot in this blog about my work at Collier's Nursery. This is actually my second time to work there. The first was in the Spring of 2007 when I needed to heal.
I was prompted to go because of the wise recommendation of our oldest daughter, Katie. Katie lives in California, but was home for a visit in March that year. She came home to two parents in the midst of professional losses.
For Jim, the loss had come five days before Christmas in 2006. One phone call, and Jim's job of 22 years disappeared in two minutes. Shocking, to say the least. We never saw it coming.
Six weeks later, in February, I had a pivotal conversation with my editor at InterVarsity Press. I had a book contract with them, but we had come to an impasse on the content. The publisher's readers wanted radical changes in the content, moving it away from the original proposal. For a while, I attempted to write to their preferences. While my editor was happy with the reworked material, it wasn't what I had to say. A friend of mine nailed the dilemma when she said, "How can the person who teaches us to be authentic, write an inauthentic book?" My editor and I agreed with that, so the contract was dissolved. So, within six weeks, we both of us had lost our jobs. Both of us were devastated.
MY FIRST TIME AT COLLIER'S
When Kate came to town, we were both trying to figure out what would come next. She encouraged me to do something...anything...to get moving again. The next day, I was driving past Collier's and realized that that I had always wanted to work there, and this was probably the time to go for it. I pulled into the parking lot, saw the owner, and asked Jimmy if I could work. Fortunately, he was hiring for the Spring rush, and I got the job. I couldn't seem to effectively move words on a page, so it was wonderful to be marvelously successful at moving flats at the nursery! Sunshine, flowers, and physical, rather than emotional and mental, tasks. This was the perfect healing place for my spirit and soul.
Of course, for some of the customers, it was rather shocking to see me in that setting. Besides my writing, I had been in private practice as a counselor for a number of years. On occasion, a former client would come in to buy their Spring flowers and be shocked to have their former therapist loading flowers into their car! I knew exactly what I was doing, but for some of my former counseling clients, this was a bit disorienting! It was awkward for them, not me. Conversations might go something like this. (Me) "So, are you going to need some plastic in your car to put under the plants? " (Them) "Ah, sure. That would be great... By the way, our marriage is really doing well now." OR "That would be great. My son has been clean since you saw him. He just graduated from college." Of course, I was happy to see them, and thrilled to know they were doing well, but clearly, our context was radically different!
I was in my fifth month there when a fellow therapist came in to buy some shrubs. As I was loading her car, she told me of a job opening at a residential center. That led to my return to my profession in August, but those months at Collier's were wonderful.
MY SECOND TIME AT COLLIER'S
My return this Spring came as a result of a couple visits to the nursery to buy flowers for my garden. As I was driving to the nursery, I was thinking "Of all the jobs I have ever had, this is one of the top two." The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was at a season in my life where a few weeks at the nursery might be a great thing to do. So, once again, I went to the owner and asked to work.
This time, it was not about healing. It was more of staking a claim as to who I am and what really matters to me. I am in transition again. But this time, I am not trying to heal from loss, I am seeking to build on hope. I am envisioning the next 40 years, and I want to do things I love. Being at the nursery in the Spring is definitely on the list!
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