Three days ago, a young woman named Laura Gautney Black died of metastatic breast cancer. She left a loving husband and three precious children under nine. For a time, we attended the same church, but I am not sure that I ever actually met her. However, this young woman has profoundly impacted my perspective on life over the last few months.
About three months ago, one of my friends on Facebook requested prayer for Laura. It had something to do with radiation treatments and breast cancer. Since I am a breast cancer survivor, I thought I would write her a brief note of encouragement, and offer to support her journey in any way I could. I thought this was her first time to deal with cancer. She sent me a lovely response and told me she had been fighting this breast cancer for five years! Clearly, she was the veteran when it came to this battlefront.
We communicated a few times and I began to follow her journey on her Caring Bridge site. The previous link takes you to one of about 10 letters that Laura recently wrote to her children about various topics. This one is entitled "Life". Be sure to take the time to read the others sometime soon. Right now, I will share with you the impact this gifted woman has had on me.
As I began to follow Laura's Facebook page and CB posts, I was struck by her honesty and her faith. There was no "God Talk" here. Instead, she was brutally honest about how hard this was. At the same time, she also manifested a profound trust in God to take care of her and her family. When I read her post about "Me and You" - a letter to her children about how she loved them, I wept because she beautifully expressed what all mothers feel. It was so intimate. It was like listening to her whisper all these sweet things to each one as she tucked them in bed for the night.
Laura's transparency blew me away. Even though I do believe in living transparently, I do not readily share my most intimate thoughts on Facebook. Laura, on the other hand, embraced and welcomed all who would come. She accepted hundreds of "friends" whom she had never met. She boldly asked for prayer for healing. She openly shared about her radiation, chemo and doctor's visits. Her openness drew me and many others into her journey. By allowing us to read what she was going through, we were all drawn in as friends, not voyeurs. I think that the recent posts on her Facebook page clearly reveal the profound impact of her willingness to be open and honest with us all.
Laura remained positive, hopeful and honest to the last. She fought as hard as anyone could possibly fight. And, when she had given everything she had to give, she rested and fell back into the arms of Jesus. Her last words to those who had followed her journey were "It is time for me to finish this cancer race. There will be no more
chemo. Hospice has been called in. Please continue to pray for my family
and friends. Especially my sweet children. Thank you." She died the next evening.
We are told in Scripture that we will be greeted by our Savior with open arms and his smile. When Laura arrived, I know Jesus greeted her with a huge smile, a wonderful hug and his words "Well done, Laura. Well done." Max Lucado shares a wonderful story in his book, The Applause of Heaven, about the joyous celebration that occurs when the saints arrive in that celestial city. I know there was a standing ovation when Laura took her first full glorious breath in her new home.
Laura truly lived her life to the fullest. While her family is faced with the terrific loss of her presence, they are truly blessed people to have had a woman like Laura love them so well. And as for me, I am profoundly grateful I was able to walk alongside her through these last few months - even if it was only at the very edge of the crowd of those who loved her.
In this blog, I have been contemplating how I want to live out the rest of my days. I have just learned from this young woman what it means to end well. My prayer is that, by God's grace, I will I be able to follow in her footsteps.
Well done, Laura. Well done.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Love Does
Two nights ago, we got a call from our son, Dave, in Los Angeles. He had some surgery on his hand several weeks back and it hadn't been healing right. Then, it got infected. Dave was calling to let us know he would have to have surgery to clean out the wound the following morning - yesterday. He had asked the doctor "Will I get full use of my hand back?" "That's what we are shooting for" was the doctor's response. He said he would be fine, but at 1AM, I was looking on the Southwest site for tickets.
Yesterday morning, I talked with our daughter, Katie, who also lives in LA and she agreed - "Come!"
By 7AM, I had booked my 10AM flight and 90 minutes later, we were on the way to the airport.
I had slipped three books into my bag for the trip - my journal, Jesus Calling and Love Does by Bob Goff. Perfect choices all. Love Does is about living a whimsically loving life. It is about assuming the answer is "Yes" and the doors are wide open to fully engage in life. As I flew above the clouds on my way to be with and help my two children, I was challenged to keep working on decorating that large open room I feel I have been given. That room is the next 40 years of my life.
In all honesty, I have felt like I had hit that Wall of Resistance that Henry Cloud talks about and had not surmounted it. Instead, over the last few weeks, I felt that all my old patterns were entrenched for the long haul. It was discouraging. I tried to eat right and exercise more and I end up in the ER and headed to further doctor appointments. I want to figure out my work and finances, and I feel stagnated and still unclear. I want to be intentional with all my days and I still find myself being distracted more than I would like. About the only thing moving forward is that my hair is getting more gray (and I like it!)
But, reading Bob's book about spontaneous acts of love and following the promptings of your heart encouraged me. I was living out exactly what he was talking about. My children needed me, I threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase and flew across the country. If I forgot something, we could figure that out later.
When Katie picked me up at LAX, it was such a joy to see her. She said she felt like a huge mountain had been lifted off her shoulders. She wanted to totally be there for her brother, but she had two small children, a household to run and a dinner party for 12 couples tonight (I didn't know about that until late last night as we talked.) She took me back to her house, I dropped off my bag, she gave me a Google map and the keys to her car and I headed toward the 405, the busiest interstate in the country, to figure out how to get to the hospital. I made it, navigated the hospital complex (only had to ask two people for directions through the halls) and walked into Dave's room. He was lying on his bed with the sunlight of the setting sun falling across his bed. He was holding his bandaged right arm straight up so that it wouldn't build up fluid. He looked tired, but relieved when he was me. "Thank you so much for coming" he said as he hugged my neck. Of course, I felt the same way. There was no where else I would rather be than there with my two children when they needed me. I handed him the Vitamin Water and chips that he had asked me to bring and we sat together as the light faded and talked about how scary this had been, and still was.
Visiting hours ended at 8PM, but since I had flown across the country and only got there at 7, the nurses let me stay a bit longer. With a few more kisses and hugs, I left Dave to the good care of the nursing staff and navigated my way back through the hospital, on to the LA highways and made it home to my daughter's.
Here's one of my greatest joys - Katie came into my bedroom, where I was reading and sat at the foot of my bed and we talked for two hours. When Katie was in high school this was our usual place to talk and visit. What a joy to have this opportunity again.
Well, I hear my grandchildren up, so I am going to close this out. I leave you with the words from the bumper sticker on the back of Katie's care - Live Well, Laugh Often and Love Much. Hope your day is a great as mine is going to be.
Yesterday morning, I talked with our daughter, Katie, who also lives in LA and she agreed - "Come!"
By 7AM, I had booked my 10AM flight and 90 minutes later, we were on the way to the airport.
I had slipped three books into my bag for the trip - my journal, Jesus Calling and Love Does by Bob Goff. Perfect choices all. Love Does is about living a whimsically loving life. It is about assuming the answer is "Yes" and the doors are wide open to fully engage in life. As I flew above the clouds on my way to be with and help my two children, I was challenged to keep working on decorating that large open room I feel I have been given. That room is the next 40 years of my life.
In all honesty, I have felt like I had hit that Wall of Resistance that Henry Cloud talks about and had not surmounted it. Instead, over the last few weeks, I felt that all my old patterns were entrenched for the long haul. It was discouraging. I tried to eat right and exercise more and I end up in the ER and headed to further doctor appointments. I want to figure out my work and finances, and I feel stagnated and still unclear. I want to be intentional with all my days and I still find myself being distracted more than I would like. About the only thing moving forward is that my hair is getting more gray (and I like it!)
But, reading Bob's book about spontaneous acts of love and following the promptings of your heart encouraged me. I was living out exactly what he was talking about. My children needed me, I threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase and flew across the country. If I forgot something, we could figure that out later.
When Katie picked me up at LAX, it was such a joy to see her. She said she felt like a huge mountain had been lifted off her shoulders. She wanted to totally be there for her brother, but she had two small children, a household to run and a dinner party for 12 couples tonight (I didn't know about that until late last night as we talked.) She took me back to her house, I dropped off my bag, she gave me a Google map and the keys to her car and I headed toward the 405, the busiest interstate in the country, to figure out how to get to the hospital. I made it, navigated the hospital complex (only had to ask two people for directions through the halls) and walked into Dave's room. He was lying on his bed with the sunlight of the setting sun falling across his bed. He was holding his bandaged right arm straight up so that it wouldn't build up fluid. He looked tired, but relieved when he was me. "Thank you so much for coming" he said as he hugged my neck. Of course, I felt the same way. There was no where else I would rather be than there with my two children when they needed me. I handed him the Vitamin Water and chips that he had asked me to bring and we sat together as the light faded and talked about how scary this had been, and still was.
Visiting hours ended at 8PM, but since I had flown across the country and only got there at 7, the nurses let me stay a bit longer. With a few more kisses and hugs, I left Dave to the good care of the nursing staff and navigated my way back through the hospital, on to the LA highways and made it home to my daughter's.
Here's one of my greatest joys - Katie came into my bedroom, where I was reading and sat at the foot of my bed and we talked for two hours. When Katie was in high school this was our usual place to talk and visit. What a joy to have this opportunity again.
Well, I hear my grandchildren up, so I am going to close this out. I leave you with the words from the bumper sticker on the back of Katie's care - Live Well, Laugh Often and Love Much. Hope your day is a great as mine is going to be.
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